great inventions yet to happen: part two


e-shoes

My pockets and belt are starting to bulge and sag with portable devices, not to mention the G3 laptop that I cart around snail-like on my back every day. As we depend more and more on being organised by machines life starts to fall apart the batteries fail. The classic man-in-desert seeking water will become a search for a power point. Fortunately I have come up with an invention that will allow you to juice your brick (as they say) on the hoof: E-shoes™.

Some of you may own a watch that never needs winding because it is charged up by the kinetic energy of your jostling wrist. Well that's small fry. E-Shoes™ have a generator in each heel powered by your foot falls. These then charge up any number of devices on your person whilst you walk. You may wish to use the slimline cabling provided or you might wish to opt for the far nattier Conduit Clothing™ option. Conduit Clothing™ is specially woven to interface with the shoes allowing for multiple recharging points at strategic locations such as pockets, armpits, neck. The electric weave means that the weaver can clip on a charge point in any location.

An optional feature is the Heel Plug™ for power users. This is a multinational plug (that can be selected remotely) that extends out of the bottom of the heel of a shoe. This is most useful in public buildings such as airports and stations where there are many 'free' power outlets. The wearer simply locates the giveaway brass flip-plate covering the cleaner's power point. Flip up the lid with your toe, plug in your heel and enjoy a free power trip as all your devices charge up. This is ideal for those extra boosts needed before playing a hard game of networked Myth on the long-haul flight to Hong Kong with your traveling companion.

E-shoes™ are fully Y3K compliant (we think ahead and Y2K is so passé) and Conduit Clothing™ has the added bonus of making the wearer completely invisible to airport security systems. Look out for a special range of electronic vibration underwear.


As usual, in case anyone makes a million out of this you saw it here first. 1999 Andy Polaine.

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