Andy Polaine
Part of the job of being a leader is having the conversation that, on a personal level, you really don’t want to have. Everyone else is looking for someone to do it, and that someone is you. In my experience, avoiding it always costs more than facing it.
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Transcript
I’ve been thinking a lot about leadership in terms of having difficult conversations, or being willing to be the one who has the difficult conversations, and by extension, sometimes doing the thing that you don’t really want to do.
One of the ways I’ve been thinking about it is the shared space. Back when people used to go to the office, the sink or the kitchen was often horrific, because no one feels a personal responsibility for it in the same way they do at home. That’s also sometimes true of shared houses. The person who says, “Do you know what? I’m just going to clear this up. There’s this thing that has been needing to be done for ages. Everyone is avoiding doing it. I’m going to do it,” is showing leadership.
Often part of the role of being the leader is to have the conversation that you, on a personal level, don’t really want to have. That might be with someone who’s underperforming. It might be someone who’s actually a negative force within the team or the organisation. It can be firing someone. It can be having a really robust and direct conversation with leadership.
All of those things where, on a personal level, you think, “Oh, I really don’t want to do that. That’s going to be unpleasant.” But everyone else is looking to someone to do it, and that someone is you. If you’re the one in a leadership role, sometimes it’s your job to do that, and you just have to suck it up and do it. I think that’s really the difference.
I’ve seen many examples where leaders have not done this, and I’ve been responsible for some of this myself. There’s someone who’s really problematic in a team, to the point where nobody wants to work with them anymore, to the point where other people will leave because this person hasn’t been dealt with.
I’ve seen someone avoid having the conversation when they knew it was a bad hire. It was a poor fit. The person was still in their three-month probation window, and they could have said, “I’m sorry, we’re not going to extend it.” Instead they stuck their head in the sand, because it was a conversation they didn’t want to have, until two weeks after the probation ended. Then it was, “Do you know what? We’re actually going to have to fire this person.” And of course by then it’s much more complex and much more expensive to do.
Or avoiding the conversation with senior leadership when they’re being problematic. They’ve got their head in the sand, or they’re not really seeing the problems, and someone needs to step up and speak truth to power. That can often also be your role.
I think it’s a marker of leadership. It’s a bit of a trial by fire. But when you’re feeling that inner resistance, “I know this needs to be done, but I really don’t want to do it,” my advice is just go for it. Feel the fear and do it anyway, as the famous book says.
In general, it’s never as bad as leaving it to fester.
I hope that’s useful. If you’re interested in my leadership coaching, check out my coaching practice or get in touch here. If you’ve got other thoughts or examples about this, I’m always interested to hear them.